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Today, I realized that Mario is definitely homeless. He wakes up every day wearing the same clothes, runs around in sewers, beats up people for their money, and what does he spend it on? Mushrooms. -
I just renamed my ipod the titanic so when I plug it in my computer it says the titanic is syncing -
I just tried to change my password to penis, but it said it was too short -
Twinkle Twinkle little whore. This is school not Jersey Shore. -
Typing. Like. This. Doesn't. Make. Your. Point. Any. Stronger. It. Makes. It. Look. Like. Your. Computer. Has. Asthma. -
If i was stranded on an island, i'd definitely carry Dora with me, she has everything in her bag -
If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other -
I like turtles because they’re so chill. They don’t hurt anyone. They’re just like, “Hey man, I want to swim, and maybe eat some lettuce. But I’m gonna take my time getting there, I’m not in a rush. Because I’m a turtle.” -
Women can fake orgasms, but Men can fake entire relationships -
The word bed looks like a bed
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